Thoughts Randomly Chosen from Life

*ring ring*

"Hello?"
"Hey. I have a question."
"Ok, hit me with your best shot."
"Thanks Ms. Benatar...I think I've been sent some sort of...revolution or something."
"RevelAtion?"
"Yeah, that too."
"What was it?"
"Well, me and mom grabbed some chow from Tai Pae and the guy looks me square in the eye...says some Chinese mumbo jumbo, and hands me a fortune cookie."
"Oooh...mysterious."
"Not weird enough? I open the cookie and the fortune is ripped."
"Bad sign."
"Yah, and I stick the fortune together and it says, "You were born with a "silver spoon" in your mouth."
"What the hellaciousness does that mean?"
"See! That's what I'm figuring out. Silver spoon...hmm."
"Silver spoon...I'm so glad it's silver, cuz if it was gold..."
"Can we focus for like a sec, k?...you have the show "Silver Spoons", but that was way before out time."
"And you have silver as like...coins or something."
"Yeah...maybe it means I am gonna be rich."
"Maybe."
"Yes."
"Hold on...let me ask my mom."

(footsteps away)

(footsteps back)

"Mom says you're spoiled."
"Geez, I mean, I just wanted to know what it meant. She didn't have to get all rude."
"No, she means that's the meaning of what silver spoons means, its that it means 'you're spoiled' meaning a silver spoon was born in your mouth.....means."
"OK all I heard was...means, means, means...you're spoiled. WTF chica?"
"Don't take it the wrong way, I mean, we're the same."
"So we're both spoiled."
"And that's ok."
"Yah, it makes it sort of unique..like we're our own group."
"OH my god it totally makes sense. That's why that poor kid from the bus through that banana at you yesterday."
"Yeah it hit me right in the stomach below my belly button. Now the bruise makes my torso look like a smiley face.....oh, and it hurt."
"That biotch."
"Actually it was Gary."
"Oh, I just thought it was a lesbian...cuz they hate us too."
"No, his mullet throws everyone off."
"Cut that Shizz for Pete's sake."
"For real."
"Yeah."
"So right."
"Mmmhmm."
.....
.....
....

"What were we talking about?"
"I don't remember."
"Call me later?"
"K, Bye."
"Bye."

What's with Spring? It thinks it's so cute. I tell ya, the other day Winter called me up and was pissed off. Now Winter's usually a gal of few words, but she was letting them fly. Apparently Spring jumped the gun by 4 days and that is a Season No-No, if there ever was one. Ms. Winter has a hard time with closure and she was not fully prepared to deal with such an early departure, but Spring was too eager. One of those over-zealous annoying types. Yeah, that's him. The spritely little impatient prick. Pardon my language but quite frankly I don't like him either. Every year he takes all the credit for the pretty blooms on the trees and the green grass, blue skies and birds a-twittering, but I tell you who does that...it's ME. I do my homework and get started on my season early so that way I don't get in trouble with Mother Nature. Now, I've never been much of a bragger so whenever he steps up to Momma and takes credit, I always just stand back and don't say a word. It still pisses me off though.

But how pissed I get at him is nothing compared to how much Fall hates him. That's right...in the beginning of time when we were getting handed out our seasons, I was originally Fall and Fall was originally Summer. But Fall and Spring kept getting in the worst fights so Momma put me between 'em to separate them. She should know why he's trouble...she adopted him.

Oh gosh, now don't tell anybody I told you that. Momma Nature would flip her twigs if she knew I said that.

Gotta go...hafta start up the breeze machine..it's getting late.

-Summer

Journal Entry of a Disgruntled School Teacher:

Don't give me a apple. Don't do it. I don't like them, I don't want them. Who started this whole apple thing anyway? Why do all my fellow teachers feel they must wear them on their clothes, jewelry, or in their hair for God's sake, especially for Parent/Teacher Conferences. There are so many better things one could bring me.

Let's say for instance: Liquor. Now that'd be nice...or maybe a dinner for two at a nice restaurant. Come on parents, let's get a little creative. Wonder why little Timmy made straight A's last year? His mom gave me a nice candle set and a sweet hand written card. Hmm, let's take a look a little Miss Hannah. I didn't like her from the start. Anyone who's name is the same front and backwards gives me the creeps. Her Dad sent her to school with an APPLE. I mean, yes at least it was a Granny Smith, but it had more bruises the Tina when she was with Ike.

C-

Better luck next year, Hannah.




Journal Entry of an On-Edge Retired Tatoo Artist:

My hand still shakes. It shakes in my sleep. It shakes when I eat. It even shakes when I'm shaking someone else's hand. Why does it haunt me? I left that part of my life behind, I was through, yet it follows me everywhere I go. I can't even look at a Chinese Symbol anymore. Tree frogs...frightening.

What made me do it? He made me. (sigh) You tattoo a lot of things in the course of twenty years, I mean almost everything. I've tattooed everything from a pig to people's privates, but I had to draw the line. I had to stop. I just couldn't do it. Why the Chinese symbol for "Serenity" around your third nipple. WHY?! Why in the name of everything that is holy, WHY?!

I just...I mean I....I hafta go.




Journal Entry of the Cheerful Guy Who picks up cans in his shopping cart downtown:

I found a can with a quarter in it today. It was a little shiny. After that I made up a good song and talked to myself for at least 2 hours. I think I like me. Ooh, and I got a new buggy from Harris Teeter. This one's front right wheel doesn't rattle as much as the old one.

I think my hair grew a little today.

Journal Entry of the Melancholic Comic:

I thought of this funny joke the other day but then I forgot it.
It was going to be a good one too. The punchline, the plot, the fact it didn't start with someone walking into a bar really made me proud. So last night as I laid down to sleep, I silently chuckled to myself over this laugh out loud joke I had thought of solely. No help, not even a small part contributed by anyone. I faded off into my dreams and when I awoke the joke was gone, so was the sly grin that had stretched across my face. I was sad. I am sad.

This isn't going to be a good day.




Journal Entry of a Sad Chef:

It was pretty. The dessert was pretty. And whose idea was it? Mine. It was the first one I had served. Ever. Of course it would happen to me.
'Watch where your going Twinkletoes'
'Outta my way'
And Splat, the dessert was gone. I looked down at my masterpiece and a single tear dropped from my right eye. I started to walk away, but as I did I stepped into some whipped cream and fell and cracked my head on a rack of glasses which were clearly out of place.

The recipe had vanished from my mind, I had no remembrance of it at all. I knew this was my demise. I knew I'd be doomed to cook at the Olive Garden forever.




Journal Entry of the Bitter Cheerleader:

'We're super, we're great, we really take the cake.'

I came up with that one. It sounded classic to me, like something even Doris Day would cheer had she been a cheerleader. I thought it brought back some of the sweet history of the early cheerleading days, instead of the new persona of 'the slut' that some cheerleaders had spread. I tried.
But which one did Gina come up with?

'We're awesome, we're cute, and we're kick ass dancers to boot.'

My jaw is still on the floor. First of all the rhyme scheme is all wrong, you have to spit those words out so fast just to make them sound right, but even worse....'kick ass'. 'Kick Ass'?! Please tell me where we had went wrong to let someone like Gina make something up like this. Oh, and all the girls loved it. They loved it, and who got pushed to the side? Me. Of course. Always me sitting the sidelines.
'Good job this practice, but still a couple more before you go in the game.'
'Ah - okay!'

I'm so stupid. Well I'll show them stupid with this new cheer. I may be conforming, but I've pulled out all the stops.

'We're rockin', you're not, We drop it like it's hot.'

Yes.

*
*

(ring ring)

"Hello. (Muffled)"
"Hey, are you ok? Your mom said you had to go to the dentist today."
"My mouth hurts like a mo'fo', but I'm sure I'll live."
"Did you get any narcotics?"
"Yes, but remember what I told you about stealing my medicine."
"It was one time!"
"That was also the time you tried to get Mr. Squeezly to go out with you."
"No I didn't. He was our science teacher for Paris' sake."
"Um, let me think...what was your pick up line... 'If you asked me out, Amoeba I'd say yes.' "
"What?"
"Yes Ma'am. And by the way, amoeba sounds nothing like maybe."
"Yes it doe... so what did the dentist have to do and was he cute?"
"Anyways..so yeah..he was sorta creepy and he had to pull my.....(quietly)..back tooth."
"Your what?"
"I said.... my back tooth."
"What the..."
"I HAVE A TOOTH in the MIDDLE of my gums, BEHIND my front set of teeth."
"OH GOD!"
"I KNOW!"
"Is it gone?!?"
"Yes."
"Will it ever come back!?!"
"No."
"Omigod, you just scared me, seriously."
"But honestly...now that it's gone, I sort of miss it."
"What? Why?"
"I mean, though pretty much useless, it WAS fun to floss it and brush it."
"Ew."
"And it was pretty quick at helping chew my food."
"Ew."
" *sniff* *sniff* "
"Are you crying?"
"Buuhhuuuh."
"Ok, I hafta go."
"But I miss Mr. Tinseltooth."
"Woops, dinner's ready! See ya."
(click)

"Buuhuuuhuu...*snub snub* "



Happy Birthday Ryan!

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(Ring Ring)

"Hola chica, speak-ah."
"Wow, new lingo?!"
"Si, Spanglish is so in."
"Oh." (in Spanish accent)
"Um, 'Oh' , is universally known."
"Oh."
"So have you been practicing for Dance Team."
"Oh yes, everywhere."
"Everywhere?"
"Yes! I've even been practicing in my car."
"Wow, you must be SO ready."
"Uh huh. Just be careful. Doing a kickball change while switching gears is not a good idea."
"Oh, of course."
"What about you? Gettin' all jazzed up?"
"Last night I did a split for my boyfriend."
"......OK!"
"Well enough about that...what do you think we'll be wearing."
"OH I don't know, something slutty and inappropriate."
"I hope so. Maybe something in mauve."
"Mauve?"
"Yeah. Mauve is the new Melon."
"But our school colors are Green and White."
".............."
"Maybe in Turquois?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, if it's turquois then I better tone up these tree trunks."
"What? Your calves? My thighs look like they ate a melon."
"Speaking of melon, I hope that won't be the color of our new outfits."
"Right."
"Haha, I linked the two convo's together."
"You're so smart. You're totally on the dance team for sure."
"Oh, I forgot, I started baking cookies about two hours ago. I'm sure they're done by now."
"For sure. What's that beeping?"
"I don't know...it's been going off for like an hour and a half. So annoying."
"I was wondering."
"Anyway, talk to you next dance I get."
"Jazz ya later."
"Heehee."
"Hoohoo."

(Click)

My Sanctuary's inside myself. It's a place only I can go. An escape from mindless moments in life that tire me every day. No, I'm not crazy, but this is the way I free myself from the things that break me down. In here, no friends, family, or expenses can stress me to a point of being angry. In here, there is a calm serene peace. In here, I can see through the smoke into a brighter moment. It's like counting to ten, biting your lip, turning the other cheek, crying, and screaming all at the same time, except without any of those. It can be a vacation, or the loneliest time of your life, but it's all in how we shape it. My Sanctuary is where I am safe, it's my comfort, it's home.

_________
____________
_______________
__________________
______________________

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please

Hear me

J	Joyful
A	Accurate
S	Square
O	Orderly
N	Nutty

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Described as the "It" girl of the year, Lindsay Lohan released her first CD (If you don't count every single one of the soudtracks she has been on) not too long ago. I purchased this CD a couple months back and was somewhat surprised to hear some of the things I heard. The title song "I Wanna Come First" is one of my favorites on the entire CD...just more original. Some of the others remind me of how much I truly hate Hilary Duff with the Bubbly little slightly punk songs she does. Though Lindsay does her put her own twist into these songs...I still feel slightly irritated even though I know it's not the Duff. "Speak" would also be a personal favorite because it is definitely different than the other punky additions. I DO recommend this CD though because there are at least 7 or 8 good songs depending on your taste. That makes a whopping 8 out of 10 or 7 out of 10 on this CD amd that's pretty darn good. Not forgetting about her great single "Rumors" that I still play now and then when going out dancing, etc.

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(ring ring)

"Hello?"
"Ksshskssshhhkshh..."
"Hello...who is this?"
"Kshhkshh...Baby boy, make me lose my breath....ksshskss..."
"Hey!!! _______!!! Your butt called me again!!!"
"Ksshkshksh...Outta the way you slow-ass mother..."
"HEEEEY!!!!"
"Hello?"
"Hellooooooo."
"Omg, I am so apologetic right now."
"Yeah...you should be...you booty called me again."
"Wow! My butt must know who I like...heehee."
"Um...weird...but ok."
"Whatcha up to sista my sista?"
"Nothin' much just answering a call from your ass."
"Sorry, but you don't have to be so anal about it."
"Ha...ha. Why does your butt always call me?"
"I don't know. I swear it knows we're best friends."
"I've always wondered if butts had brains."
"You know, I think you're right...like that urge I get everytime I need to poo."
"Oh..My..God..you're so right! It knows!"
"I think we've made a breakthrough here."
"Yeah for sure."
"Wanna go for some Pizza?"
"Yah."
"Lil' Caesars."
"Papa Johns."
"Pizza Hut."
"The Hut it is."
"Ciao."
"Chow."
.......................
......................
...................
"HAHAHAHAHAHA"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Wait a minute. Would I have known you meant "chow" had this guy not been typing it?"
"I don't think so."
"Oh."

(click)

It's so easy to hide from the things that we are scared of. We take the few things that we actually feel strongly about and pull them up in front of us, blocking off any new thing that may have been coming our way. How can we ever progress as human beings and people if we continue to do this. Things change everyday, if anything stayed exactly the same then life would be boring. Take for instance, our bodies...yes there are certain standards that each of bodies stay at, but think of how everyone's is a little different whether it be the inside or the out. In one way or another there are so strange differences between us. Thus, taking it on a more person level, People themselves are all different. Personalities, Attitudes, Looks, Kindess, Happiness : They all add up to build the persona which is that person and if we don't learn to pull down our guard and trully try to connect with those people...then we may lose the opportunity of meeting someone who could change our life...or even we could change their lives. I have ran across some people in my life who I've grown to love and others who I've grown to not love, and no matter who they are or what they did or didn't do to me...I have learned something and grown from it. Then there have been others I had nothing to do with and in the end I saw, looking back, that there could have been a change if only I'd let my guard down and trusted in people.

* Fact: Squirrels stuff nuts in their cheeks
** Dancing is your feet's way of saying, "Look at me! Look at me!"
* Being bored and being hungry are tied together somehow.
** Trust is like hanging a boulder from a wet spaghetti noodle.
* What if God WERE one of us?
** I think when babies laugh it's because they think we look funny. Well, we don't have fat cheeks and alien heads, so take THAT babies.
* The song "Dirty Pop" must have disgusted the people up North.
** Fact: Bette Midler is clever.
* Disect the word Mushroom. Mush - Ew ; Room - A place with 4 walls. Why the hell do we eat it!?
** "Heck yes" (Napoleon Dynamite)
* Whenever you're sad, just think about how you'll be happy sometime in the future, and how it'll make more of a difference then.
** Whoever invented zits sucks...woops...sorry God.
* I wonder who the first person was to grab and utter and jerk it?

Have you ever had great expectations and then got your feet hit right out from under you? It's our own fault when this happens for having such great expectations. Life isn't screwing us over...it's not a big part of God's plan to make us all regret being born into the world, it's our own minds building a tower of Jenga blocks and we're just one block away from losing the game. We play a game of chance with our own hearts pulling out a piece from the bottome of the stack believing that the choices we are making are what is best for us, even if it makes the rest of the tower a little shaky. So with each chance that we take, our tower is a little more prone to falling through and breaking down. It's putting your heart on the line, taking a step of faith, and our own presumptions, and it sucks it has to be that way.

Life IS a game, so there isn't a way of avoiding this. Even if we shut our hearts down and put the walls up, we're still human and prone to being hurt and breaking down. SO take it in stride, and understanding this help alot whenever things don't go the way in which you intended.

(ring ring)

"Talk to me."
"When did you start answering the phone like that?"
"Who are you...my mom? Shut it"
"Sorry"
"What's up biotch?"
"Nothing, Getting ready for Vanessa's slumber party."
"Oh, My, God, I totally forgot that was tonite. When you going?"
"In an hour."
"K, swing by my house in like an hour and ring the celly before you come."
"K, call you back in a flash."
"Don't say flash."
"Right."

(click)

(ring ring ring ring ring...Voicemail)

"Hi, You've reached *******. I'm too busy brushing my hair or something else too important to..."
"Hello?"
"Oh hey."
"So if you'd leave a message after the..."
"God, how do you shut this thing off."
"Hey, I'm on my way."
"Hold on this is..."
"I will call you back when I get some time later..."
"We're leaving right now.."
"Hugs! and maybe kisses if you're the right person. (BEEP)"
"Finally."
"Like I said, we're burning rubber outta here.."
"Should I take the fuschia sleeping bag or the magenta?"
"Magenta..are you ready for us to pick..."
"Is Kirsten gonna be there? Oh God, I don't know what I'll do."
"No, she's getting her apendix out. I'm leaving..."
"Oh Gosh! I took down my hair, and now I have one of those pony tail lines in my hair and I just..."
"Ok, you need to focus."
"Excuse me Ms. Impatience Pants, but I am hurrying."
"You are making me late to the biggest event of the weekend."
"Aww, I'm so sorry... but there is a party at Mackie's that I am passing up for this, where I could get some primo make-out time."
"OOh, well if it's that much of a burden, then just go."
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
".........."
".............."
"See you in like 10?"
"Yah, bye."

(click)

My Journal went through a little plastic surgery today and was completely remodeled. Let me know what you think. Click on "Say Something" and leave me a comment.

To all those who are especially special to me:

It doesn't matter wherever you are, near or far, how long I've known you or how long I haven't known you, if we've talked recently or haven't talked in a while, know that I love each and everyone of you and wish you the best this Christmas and lots of joy for the upcoming year.

Merry Christmas 2004 ---- Happy New Year 2005

* Why is it called Mistletoe?
** Elvis is just an elf who finally grew up.
* When someone calls Christmas songs "carols", it makes me sad because my boring Aunt's name is Carol.
** Money says I'm Lazy, A gift says I care, but something home made says I'm broke.
* Deck of cards, All hands on deck, Deck-ster's Lab, Tera-deck-tyl, Deck the Halls.
** Who dreams of sugar plums these days?
* Mariah Carey's Christmas CD is the best of all time. Even if yours did sell more in the first week, Clay.
** Stopping believing in Santa Clause starts the decronstruction of your imagination.
* Santa's fat. He's supposed to be fat. He likes being fat. He's jolly and fat. Back off, Atkins.
** Be warned: Candy Canes may be sharpened much more sharp than Ginsu knives.
* If someone really wore the stockings we get stuff in... That'd be funny.
** Jingle Bells are just bells without the action of jiggling.
* No Snow on Christmas is like no full moon and horrible storm on Halloween.
** Bah-humbug is only said to get attention.
* Rudolph is a reindeer...another Rudolph bombed an abortion clinic. I like the reindeer better.
** This season is really about being with the one's you love, whether that be friends or family, pets or significant others, or whatever else you may have. Soak it in this Christmas because we need that love to last all year.

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat,
Please do put a penny in the poor man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny,
A Half-a-penny will do,
If you haven't got a Half-penny,
God bless you!

-Muppet's Christmas Tape from yesteryear

(ring ring)

(ring ring)

(ring)

"Hello?"
"Hey."
"What's going on with you? It rang like four times."
"I'm sick. Actually it was five."
"Oh no!"
"Geez, I know we usually use the ring-twice method, but.."
"NO, the sick part, silly. Are you ok?"
"Oh, well, I just feel tired and I can barely breathe through my nose."
"Oh my God, it's leukemia!"
"Settle, it's totally the Flu."
"Oh."
"I can't believe I'm sick on Christmas."
"Yah, Suckfest 2004, soon to be 2005."
"I opened a new sweater and sneezed all over it."
"The one you wanted from Abercrombie?"
"Yeah"
"You threw it away, right?"
"For sure, Mom's getting me a new one tomorrow."
"Sweet!"
"What you been up to?"
"Well, I got everything I wanted, but one thing."
"The Bedazzler for that new jean jacket you got?"
"No, that was last year... Tyler didn't call me."
"Hottie Tottie Tyler with the big nice body?"
"Yah, I'm bummed."
"I got a beep..hold on

Hello?"
"Hey, it's Tyler."
"Oh, *clears throat* , Tyler, what a surprise!"
"We still on to see a movie tonight."
"There's nothing else open on Christmas is there?"
"Ha, Sure. Be at your house at 7. See ya"
"K, Bye...

And I'm back."
"Who was that?"
"My um..Doctor.. Seems I need no call or visits and just sleep tonight without interuption by anyone, and he means anyone including friends or family..even if the phone rings it could throw me into a dementia I may never come out of."
"So, call you tomorrow?"
"Yah, Muah girl."
"Peace."

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Mistletoe Madness
by: Poetically-Challenged Me

Stockings Stuffed and Balls are hung,
Silent Night has just been sung,
There waits a man under mistletoe,
Watching girls pass to and fro.

The blonde, she takes one look and runs,
The brunette just became a nun,
The red haired girl looked a little pissed,
The black haired was a swing and a miss.

But along came a girl with hair so Blue,
He sprayed some Binaca and hit his tooth,
She smiled at him and giggled more,
But was knocked out cold when she ran into the door.

He took a seat there on the carpet,
Looked up, Saw Ryan, SO then he darted.
He grabbed the mistletoe and ran,
To see, for a kiss, who he might scam.

Emily slapped him in the cheek,
Magen said, "Get outta here, Freak"
Autumn simply gave him a nice firm bite,
Conrad said, "You're not my type."

At the end of the night, he'd given up,
Seems his goal was just too tough,
When a girl stepped up, Lesley was her name,
Who said, "Hey you, You're not so lame."

So she leaned in to give him his wish,
He thought, finally, this is the kiss,
She moved, and He wound up kissing Danny,
And Danny pushed him down upon his fanny.

This poem really was so senseless,
It's just to say, Merry Christmas!
The moral is..Don't be queer
Or you'll get pushed down on your rear. ;-)
Happy New Year!

(Disclaimer: I am not putting this on here to brag on myself. It was just so exciting for me I had to write about it, and I know a lot of you who I had told I was going, are wondering what happened.)

This weekend I had something incredible happen to me. So amazing that I must tell the story.

Thursday while at work, I received a phone call from Stephanie at Stiletto Entertainment. Stiletto Entertainment is the best possible cruise ship entertainment you can work for. (A room to yourself, good food, the best pay on a cruise ship, and very professional.) So Stephanie calls me up and tells me that she had viewed my audition video. I was scared of what she might say. She said, "I fell in love with your voice as soon as I put in the video, but I didn't see enough dancing. Can you send me a video of you doing a Jazz combo by Monday?" Of course I said SURE and promised to pop the dance video in the mail as soon as possible.

About 4 hours later I received another call from Stephanie saying.."We feel bad making you make a video at the last minute and just throw it in the mail, so...we're gonna fly you out to L.A. for Friday and Saturday." I almost shat my pants I can assure you that. I agreed to call into work the next day and jump on a plan the next morning to come do a private audition for them.

The Next morning I catch my plane at 8 (NC time) ...arrive in L.A. around 9:30 (CA time) although it was about a 3 and a half hour flight. I got to rest up a little in my hotel room before they came and picked me up around 1:15 to go audition. They put me through the ringer with 5 or 6 different songs, asking me to change them here and there and seeing how quickly I could learn music and parts. They video'd me singing all those songs and I sang one live for Stephanie's associate, Doug. These songs were the highest songs, gah. Anywho, Then I was taught a dance to "Livin' La Vida Loca" by a choreographer and they video'd that also.

After the audition, I had felt it went really well. Apparently they thought the same as well, Stephanie's bad news was that I wasn't right for the position in January because it required the Male2 to be more of a dancer, but she said there were plenty of ships were the M2 didn't dance as much and was a good singer. She said it was a matter of time and placement. The good news is, she told me I had the vocal quality of a Male1 (must be an outstanding singer, with a very high range) but I looked to young to be an M1. Stephanie said.."I walked into the office and Doug and I looked at each other and said, 'We LOVE this kid. We have to get him on one of our ships.' How many years of voice lessons have you had?" I said none and she didn't believe me.

Well all that build up really helped my confidence in a time where it had been a while since had been able to perform somewhere. Then shortly after that, Doug called me in my hotel room and said, "I just wanted to call and tell you what an amazing talent you are." I said thanks and I really appreciated the opportunity they gave me and for taking a chance on me. Doug said, "Oh Jason, it's not a chance..this is an investment for our future together. Just know, you'll have a home in LA with us sometime very soon."

I got a free trip to LA, will probably be performing with Stiletto in the next 6 months, made some major connections...
and Sarah took me out to Hollywood for a night on the town. This weekend couldn't have been any better.

(ring ring)

"So what are you doing?"
"Nothing, just sitting at home."
"My Parents won't let me out since what happened Saturday."
"Same here...I am so sick of my parents"
"Same here...they totally suck."
"Suck isn't even the word for it, they blow."
"Ooh, good one."
"Did you see Bobby today at school?"
"Yeah, he totally checked you out. He is so into you."
"You really think so? I mean, I know I'm the prettiest girl in...."
"Yeah, he likes you...Greg told me so."
"Greg? When were you and him talking?"
"OMG, I didn't tell you?"
"No."
"We totally hooked up on Friday night at Sammy Stickney's party."
"OOh ooh, nasty girl, you are SO bad."
"Bad isn't the word for it, I'm outrageous."
"Sweet."
"Oh yes"
"Your milkshake must bring all the boys to the yard."
"God, we're so witty."
"Hey, do you have a date for the Spring Fling?"
"Not yet, but I mean, I guess Greg would go."
"Greg's going with Stacy Fargness."
"The girl with Bacne?"
"Yah"
"Ew"
"Mhmm"
"Gross"
"Yeah, I can't believe it either, Toootally insane."
"He must be. Oh God I kissed a guy who's kissed bacne."
"Stop freaking out and get some Listerine."
"Hey, I gotta beep, hold on...

"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Greg."
"I'm grounded..(click)"

"And I'm back"
"Who was it?"
"Somebody from the..uh..Kidney foundation."
"Who?"
"Don't they get the point, I LIKE my kindeys. No one's gettin them."
"Um, ok, listen I gotta go."
"All right, love ya like a sister does."
"Peace out girl, You're my best friend."
"Bye"

It was a dark and blustery night and the clock had just struck three. It was the month of December just beginning and stores were starting to unload their Christmas decorations to replace those from Thanksgiving and Halloween. You know this story must have taken place a long time ago, because if it were now, the Christmas decorations would have been out by June. Bows, Ribbons, Tinsel, and Trees were shipped into stores across the nation. Every family (except Jewish ones) celebrate Christmas, so the stores must stock up in preparation for the hords of busy bodied shoppers readying themselves for the decorating frenzy.

Every year a new tradition was made in this town to use a decoration of a different kind. Last year it was pine cones, the year before was Candy canes, and 2 years before were Taxidermied animal heads. Someone had let Greta be in charge that year. She won the entire prize when her collection included a Wildebeast Santa and Possum Elves...not to mention the Flying Squirrel Angels and a Raccoon as the Grinch. All that aside, the old black hat was passed around this year with the different ideas on little slips of paper and mixed around so it was sure to not be fixed. (This idea came about after the year Greta was put in charge). Mayor Humperdink stepped out onto his balcony, drew the tiny folded slip of paper...opened it, and declared..."Poinsettias," in a loud rumbling voice, "The decoration of choice this year is poinsettias!" The whole crowd erupted in a cheer, then a stampede as every family joined hands and took off to the nearest venue that carried this particular flower. The Schmortig's, a reasonably chubbier family, were the last to make it to their store. They came running in the door to be greeted by Old Man Smithers. "Well you kids are lucky this year, I've got an exceeding crop of these porn-settas." The Schmortig's, [Allen (father), Kydia (mother), Paulette (daughter), and Tort (son)], all got their arms as full as they could and started to carry the flowers home.

The trip home was the worst. There was the excitement of putting them in the yard and watching your house fill with the warmth of Christmas because of the decorations...but there also is the fact that you ran all the way there with the adrenaline of a ferret...so usually it's a much longer distance than you'd ever had imagined. Tort grew hungry along the way and decided to stop. His stomach would not stop grumbling. Allen encouraged him on but he would not budge, so not being that far from home and it being the olden days when you would leave your doors unlocked, the rest of the family marched on.

Tort searched around with his eyes at what he might eat. Being a young chubby stupid head, he looked at the poinsettia and made this realization, "Well, An apple is ready to eat when it's all bright red, so I reckon this flower must taste awefully good when it's THIS red." He thought it over for another little while or two and grabbed a leaf from the poinsettia. Sticking part of it in his mouth he didn't like the taste very much, but he was starving so he made the sacrifice and proceeded to eat most all of the rest of the leaves on the poinsettia. Well, his stomach started to rumble and it started to grumble and what happened next?

|
|
|
He died.

Poinsettia's are poisonous. Don't eat them.

I've intrigued myself. No, I'm not being haughty, I've just discovered a game that I play with myself. For all of you dirty minds out there, that's not what I'm talking about. It's a Self-assurity game, a game of which I have found that others play also. In fact, maybe everyone plays this game, whether it is controlled by our conscious or unconscious. I'm pretty sure I have your attention now...not because it's interesting, just because I'm sure you want to read how crazy I am. Ha.

Each of us have things in our lives that are what hinder us from really being confident. Some have small insecurities, where others have huge, almost uncontainable ones. Sometimes these insecurities can be the downfall of our friendships, relationships, jobs and some even to the point of people hurting themselves...anorexia, drugs, or even suicide. It's all about this self image we have in our head. All these things are caused by these insecurities...it causes our mood to change, makes us worry or makes us cry, cheers us up or lets us down, either way it has a strong effect.

I say all that to say this...It's funny how we play games or tell ourselves things for reassurance. For instance, I was expecting a call the other day and it was something I was worried about how it would turn out, so I made a "bet" with myself. I thought, I'm going to take a shower...and if in that time that I am in the shower, the call comes, then I know that this situation is something I can deal with...BUT if it comes sometime after the shower, then I will know to just let it go. No sooner had I been in the shower did the phone ring. I got such self assurity out of that. I felt sort of silly. I mean, honestly it's something I knew all along, but it took me doing that to ease my anxiousness. It seems so stupid to me now, but it got me by for the time being. It's like a quick fix for the brain.

I think everyone does that now and then...gives an ultimatum to themselves. You know, like..."If this happens, then.." , "If I see So-and-so, then.." It's ridiculous really, but my guess is the human mind is something fragile, so it does whatever it can to protect itself. Even more than that our heart does twice the workload to protect itself and our feelings.

I don't know what you may do to fend off predators of the mind...You may think it's crazy, but I'm sure you do it. Just think about it and you will see what I'm talking about. So go on and play with yourself.

I am tight with celebrities,
Oh yes, all this is true,
I've partied with Destiny's Child,
And had lunch with J.Lo. too.

Many a movie night with Jennifer Love,
Hittin' the gym with Brad Pitt,
Swapping Secrets with Debra Messing,
Crackin' jokes at Will Smith.

Kelly Clarkson's my best friend,
My hair is done by Ms. Aniston,
I laugh it up with Margaret Cho,
I talked to Macy Gray about her fro.

Gwen Stefani is on Speed Dial 3,
Jude Law gave me his favorite jeans,
The Rock helped to move me in,
I was supposed to be on "Friends"

Ben Affleck tried to date my sister,
RuPaul told me he's no longer a mister,
Sally Field, she REALLY likes me,
Sorry Sal, My heart's for Britney.

Natalie Portman's my newest crush,
Missy Elliot just pass that dutch,
I'm taking voice lessons from Celine,
Rest In Peace good ole' James Dean.

Now these are just a few of those,
Celebrities of which I know.
Now call me later, We'll catch up,
After I go feed, Paris Hilton's Pup.

* If I bring home the bacon...what do vegetarians bring home?
** There is always severe embarrassment when pushing a pull-only door.
* Being honest is next to godliness.
** Smiling when your unhappy is like sucking on a mint and having halitosis.
* A Penny saved is a Penny earned...and Penny was the name of the girl with blond pigtails on "Inspector Gadget"
** If your last name is Friend, doesn't that put some sort of expectation on you to be nice.
* Calling someone stupid's about as stupid as calling someone stupid.
** Putting yourself into a situation is never someone else's fault.
* Don't be drunk and drive...that makes more sense.
** Only trust yourself, unless something better comes along.
* Whining is annoying, so don't do it.

(all originally mine or originally twisted)

** You put goodness out there, you get goodness back. Yesterday I gave the homeless woman on the corner a dollar, and today she didn't throw a bottle of pee at me.

(Grace to Karen)

All I can say is WOW! Gwen Stefani is at the top of her game with the new release of her solo CD "Love.Angel.Music.Baby." Personally, I had no idea what to expect while awaiting her album to come out. Will it be like "No Doubt" or will she break away from that style? She blew me out of the water with her very own style of music.

Ms. Stefani's CD explodes with a blast from the past sound...it's like she took Madonna from the 80's, threw in some electronica, with some rap, euro-pop, and some influences from popular music today...and out popped one of the best CD's of the year. We've all heard "What You Waiting For?" and it has done very well. She's even up for a Grammy for Best Femal Performance for it. After listening to the rest of the CD, I couldn't stop listening to "Bubble Pop Electric" ft. Johnny Vulture because it's so upbeat and crazy, it just keeps you going and going. Even feeding into the urban sound of "Luxurious", Gwen still has a way of taking any style of music and giving it the old Stefani Twist that we've grown to love. Really listen to "Cool", it's a sweet song in a very simple way. I'll tell you though, "Hollaback Girl" could get entire crowd dancing. With a heavy downbeat like "We Will Rock You" or an old Janet Jackson song, Gwen tears it up with this "talky" song.

"Crash", "Rich Girl" ft. Eve, "Danger Zone", "Harajuku Girls"...I can't go into every song, but I wish I could because they are all THAT good.

If there is any CD on your Christmas list, the one at the top should be "Gwen Stefani: Love.Angel.Music.Baby."

Check her out on ----> www.gwenstefani.com <-----

The list of Grammy nominees was just released not too long ago and I went through and scouted out my favorites.

Here they are:

Record Of The Year - Let's Get It Started : B.E.P.

Album Of The Year - Alicia Keys: The Diary of...
- Usher: Confessions (I only put this because he is sure to win)

Song Of The Year - If I Ain't Got You: Alicia Keys

Best New Artist - Maroon 5
- Joss Stone
- Gretchen Wilson (for Ash)

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance - Joss Stone: You Had Me
- Gwen Stefani: What You Waiting For?

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal - She Will Be Loved: Maroon 5

Best Pop Vocal Album - Joss Stone: Mind, Body, and Soul

Best Dance Recording - Toxic: Britney Spears

Best Electronic/Dance Album - Kish Kash: Basement Jaxx (for Ryan)

Best Rock Album - Hoobastank: The Reason (I know, we're all tired of it)

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal - Franz Ferdinand: Take Me Out

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance - Alicia Keys: If I Ain't Got You

Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals - Lose My Breath: Destiny's Child

Best R&B Song - You Don't Know My Name - Alicia Keys

Best R&B Album - Alicia Keys: The Diary of Alicia Keys

Best Contemporary R&B Album - Christina Milian: It's About Time

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration - Dip It Low: Christina Milian ft. Fabolous

Best Rap Song - Hey Mama: Black Eyed Peas

Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group - Let's Get it Started: Black Eyed Peas

Best Jazz Vocal Album - Jamie Cullum: Twentysomething (Thanks to Ryan)

Best Musical Show Album - Avenue Q: The Musical (Thanks to Ryan)

Best Country Song - Redneck Woman: Gretchen Wilson

Best Compilation Soundtrack Album For A Motion Picture - Garden State

Best Score Soundtrack Album For A Motion Picture - Big Fish: Danny Elfman
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: John Williams

Best Country Instrumental Performance - Puppies 'N Knapsacks: Sam Bush

(ok, I really don't know who this is, but look at the name....1st of all, Puppies 'N Knapsacks...and 2nd of all, Sam Bush..nuff said.)

Check out my link on the left and see if your choices match up with mine.

Hide N Seek is a game that has been played for years upon years by many different ages of children. Even adults and teenagers play this game at one time or another, whether it is with their children or with each other. Yet there is some type of enigma floating around the idea of Hide N Seek. Some things that just don't make sense...they don't add up. Who knew such a childhood game could be filled with such mystery and wonder. I am here to put light onto these findings.

My first find is so simple, yet mind boggling. Why is it, that you can bury yourself under a pile of clothes or leaves and be SO hidden, but be found before they find another person mearly crouching in the shadows? How is this accomplished? You spend 15 minutes plotting and planning the perfect place to never be found, having to yell "NOT YET!" like a million times, until you have slid into your spot, practically stopped breathing, and are not making a single noise and yet you never seem to win. It is the sly Hide N Seek pro who simply finds a shadowed area, slinking down into a corner or just beside a tree, that wins. We may never understand it, but it's simply a truth of Hide N Seek.

My second find is a world-wide known truth. If you were in a room of a million people and broadcasted this question over the congregation of everyone from different backgrounds and race, I am sure you would receive the same answer. "While playing Hide N Seek, how many of you, as soon as you got into your hiding place, felt the urgent need to pee?" I assure you that 99.9% of all hands would go straight into the air. It is true! I think that our bladder knows what it is doing, but that's a whole other entry. Just think back to the last time you played this intriguing game... time is almost up and you are running around trying to find your hiding place. You've found one! and now you merely are waiting. Then it hits. Do you stay hidden though having to urinate worse than you ever have had to before, or do you run for home and try to avoid the Counter? It's a never ending question that may never be answered.

My third find is this... How many rules are there exactly in Hide N Seek and how many variations could there possibly be? I remember growing up, I played Hide N Seek with many different sets of friends including my family, school friends, church friends, and kids from my neighborhood. Each time it seemed there was always a different counting time. You couldn't hide in this certain area of the yard. What the heck is Olli Olli Oxen free?!

I give up. This game...this dumbfounding game. Hide N Seek. How can these kids play this game and sleep at night?

(Read open mindedly...I'm poetically challenged)

Something old and something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
My heart on loan to a party of two.

Extend myself beyond my means
So far, I try to think, to not think
Of why I've soaked myself into
Another time of unpredictable changes.

Pretend a little voice within,
Is whispering loudly to begin,
Into this canvas slowly blend,
A portrait, painted of a friend.

Invite my mind into my heart,
To conversate what is best,
Trust in Time, they will agree,
To Trust that Time will tell for me.

It is too early to assume,
To infer that patience is wise in this.
To handle gently what is mine,
And be thankful for a choice.

Something brown, Something young,
Something sweet, and Something fun,
My heart is only for a party of one.

(Me)

In my last review entry I talked about Kelly Clarkson's CD emerging soon, and now it has. Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" is a new leaf turned over into a whole new style of music for the first and best American Idol. Her first cd, mainly filled with Pop songs and Ballads, was a great success...but even better than that is her new CD, overflowing with a Rock / Punk sound. With the two releases "Breakaway" and "Since You've Been Gone" climbing the charts ("Breakway" still #2 on RadioandRecords.com), there are only greater things to come from this album. Driving beats like "Gone" and "Walk Away" bring out the rocker in Kelly letting her throw caution to the wind and take the restraints off her vocal ability and really show off. Other's like "Addicted" really reach low and have a deep penetrating sound that twist your heart and sink to the bottom of your soul. The last track tops off the rest of the entire album with an Encore concert/ballad version of "Beautiful Disaster" (posted in my journal last week) from her last CD. So beautiful.

In total, Kelly is awesome. She has the musical sound of Avril Lavigne while sticking true to her unique kind of music. Add that in with her amazing vocal range and you have one of the great female singers of our time, Kelly Clarkson.

So, as every dream story starts...I was lying in bed and (oh yeah, previously to all this I had slowly started coming down with a cold) I was having this dream. Now in this dream I could see everything so vividly, there were approximately 20 desks filled with elementary school-age children all looking up to me with pencil and paper. I realized, I must be the teacher of this class. Now in this dream, I couldn't see what I was wearing, but I assure you I would not have had on one of those sweaters with the "apple with a worm in it" on it...or pencils, or whatever seems to personify elementary teachers so well. As I was standing there in front of the classroom teaching, I felt as though I were going to have to sneeze.

Now in dreams, (as Ryan and I have discussed before), there are some things that are what seem to be already understood. Like in this dream I understood I was a teacher and accepted that responsibility right away. No question asked...I mean, It's a dream.

Anyway, my point in saying all that was to say this, as I had to sneeze I KNEW that I could point to a child in the room, and that child would sneeze for me. Weird. So in the dream I point to the little girl with the blonde curly hair on the front row. She sneezed and simultaneously I sneeze in "real life" and woke up. Hmm.

Some people think there are meanings to every dream you have. I think this one was just for kicks.

Thanks a million, Mr. Sandman.

Between our day to day lives, we need to take time to let everyone in our lives know how special they are. How can we not, whenever the people that keep us going from day to day never get the recognition they deserve? I know we all our human, and it is our instinct to take each other for granted. We do it everyday, without even thinking, and the moment it crosses your mind it's always like 3 in the morning... and you can't call someone at that time! So the moment passes and by the time you wake up from bed you haven't the foggiest about anything you thought the night before...especially if you were up past 3. We can't beat ourselves up for doing this...it's unstoppable. When things are going right in your life, it's hard to see exactly what's making it that way...it's just easier to ride along through life with happiness in the passenger seat. (Happiness isn't a backseat driver either) It's only when things go wrong, something in your life isn't fitting into the puzzle the way you intended it to, do we realize...HEY, I have some pretty darn good people to appreciate. So, the reason for this isn't to get emails from whoever reads this saying "I appreciate you", but for everyone out there to take the time to give a hug, a card, or something mushy like that to the person you love, or the people you love.

Alone we are nothing, together we are more than we could imagine.

* People say, "Life is short"...I plan to make it long.
* Mary had a little lamb, but Martha has a goat. Who's cooler?
* If you hide who you are from the rest of the world, the rest of the world will hide from you.
* Take the time to make the time to take time for yourself.
* You think you would slide more times in the Cha-Cha Slide.
* If my name was Bernard, I think I'd be sad.
* Peace is something often wanted but never found.
* I think if Demons could talk to us they'd say, "Gotta light?"
* A Dry sense of humor is actually rather refreshing.
* Think about Big Celebrities pooping. It's unreal.
* You may try to find love, Or love may try to find you...at least either way you know it's coming.
* Licking your elbow is impossible...it's a good thing it doesn't taste good. Or does it?
* Nobody's different...everyone's unique.
* Tears don't come from the eyes...they come from the heart.
* Carpe Diem and all that jazz.

(All original...or at least all originally twisted)

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magical myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

(Kelly Clarkson)

So I made a new friend on here. Which is exciting because I am starting to get the feeling that no one on my buddy list really ever reads my stuff. Anywho, I'm sort of her student in this whole journal thing because she knows everything about it and I'm just clueless so. I'm in the new and exciting world of Icons right now...there are so many good ones out there, and so many people who make some really good ones. I don't know how to make them yet, so I have some on loan from others collections, BUT I will learn on my own, cuz I think it's fun. Check them out as I go along and let me know.

12 Pregnant Popstars
11 Priests A-Raping
10 Stars A-Shooting
9 Babies Pooping
8 Owls A-Hooting
7 Girls A-Flirting
6 Guys A-Jerking

5 Tramps on the Corner

4 Bags of Trash
3 Hotdogs
2 Dead Racoons

And a Rat tapping to "Singing in the Rain"!!!

I'll give you what I think of the word MOVING. (After spending an entire day and a half doing it)

M - Mind boggling... You don't know how hard it is to move until you have to do it.
O - Odor... You never know what you're going to run across in your apartment. Like Fish-smelling plastic. (it does exist)
V - Vitality-sucking... I haven't been this tired in forever.
I - Irritating... I snapped at my parents on sunday with this Lifetime movie monologue..."I'll just do it on my own, I
don't need anyone else's help, Ok? Just forget it." (Sorry Dad, Sorry Mom)
N - Never... Never paint walls in an apt. Never staple gun fabric to ANYTHING!!! Never move EVER if you don't have to.
G - Grand... the feeling you get when you FINALLY know you're finished.

My new apt. address is:

7709 Apt. 315 Waterford Square Drive
Charlotte, NC 28226

I've become suspicious of my finger nails. I think they're up to something. No, no I didn't say up to something bad...just Up. There is an intriguing mystery about finger nails, something strangely grabbing my attention this past week, and I have come to a astounding conclusion...My nails are in a race.

A Race to see who can make it the longest without being cut or bitten off. A Race to see who's the biggest, thus I conclude my nails must be of the male persuasion. The funny thing is that Ringy, my ring finger, is always in the lead. I may bite him off, file him down, crack him while trying to lift furniture too heavy for me, but he always comes out on top, catching right back up to the pack of nails and surpassing each of their abilities. It makes me sort of sad for Pointer, but I use him more than Ringy so I figure Ringy has some sort of agenda against Pointer. Oh, but I am proud, I said PROUD, of Pinky. Pinky may be small, Pinky may never be used (except when sipping tea) but Pinky keeps up. Me and Pinky are one. Pinky is me when I was little. I was always the puny one but darn it I kept up. I'm not Pinky so much anymore. Good ole Bird is always a strong second, He's an egomaniac. He thinks just because he's the longest digit, he can just ride along in second place. He tries to be apathetic, but I see right through him. He secretly strives to stay in second, can never really exceed Ringy. Bird has a mind of his own sometimes...it's like I can't control him. I think he is the embodiment of my road rage. But anyway, Thumbs a lazy bastard. He's always like, "Ho hum, I'm just a thumb, Why should I even try?" He just sits there, gah, doesn't he know he's the most important. I wish I could just reach out to him and shake him and say...HEY, I couldn't pick up anything if it weren't for you. (hmph) He wouldn't listen though. He doesn't have ears.

So why does this race matter, Nails? And does it matter who I cut first...do they get a head start in the next race? Does it hurt when I type on a keyboard? Bird, are you bitter because I still have paint stuck under you from last night?

If my nails are up to this who knows what my appendix could be scheming.

My latest purchase was Destiny's Child: Destiny Fulfilled. It is a great CD. Once you get past the songs made to please the general public you find some songs that really are good music. Their first single "Lose My Breath" is one of the dance songs of the year. Their next single, "Soldier", is climbing the charts but a less catchy tune. This CD has somewhat of a vintage sound to it on many songs, song that remind me of Diana Ross and other sounds from years and decades past. I was a little worried when I heard they were releasing another CD because I thought that Beyonce's would try to take the forefront spotlight, but the vocals on this CD are fairly equally matched and the harmonies are absolutely beautiful. My favorite song on this CD would have to be Track 10, "Through with Love". It's got a heavy beat but it's a slower song. It gives all three girls (even Michelle) a chance to shine and show their vocal talents. Also, for all of you that maybe heard the rumor that Michelle was being kicked out of the group...it is not true. Beyonce and Kelly both release statements saying that Michelle is and always be a member of Destiny's Child. This rumor started after Michelle fell during a performance.

Britney Spears: My Prerogative is definitely a must have. Whether you like Britney or not, she brought on a different kind of music that has personified almost a decade. With most of her songs being that of a dance beat she has kept us moving in our homes, our cars, or out in the clubs. This CD includes all of her greatest hits like "Baby One More Time", "Stronger", "Toxic", and many more. It also give you three new songs including her remake of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative" and two others "I've Just Begun (Having my Fun)" (a special Wal*Mart release from her last album) and "Do Somethin'" (my favorite track on the CD). If you buy the Greatest Hits package then you also receive a bonus disc with 5 new remixes including a Megamix of all the greatest Britney songs.

If you haven't heard "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, then you must. Kelly takes a smart turn toward a rockier style in this song, similar to that of what we've heard from Avril Lavigne, etc. and it is sure to reach the top of the charts in a hurry. This song's already the most added song on the radio this week. Her cd comes out on the 30th of this month (November) and includes the song from "The Princess Diaries 2" soundtrack, "Breakaway" which is still at number two on the charts. (Breakaway is also the title of the new CD as well.)

One other artist by the name of Gavin Degraw, who is no stranger to some, is bursting on the scene with his new song "I Don't Wanna Be". This song is one which will have the chorus stuck in your head for days. With his vocal stylings mixed together with the rock sound of his music, it's a combination that can't go wrong. His first song "Chariot" did well but didn't bring him the exposure "IDWB" is bringing him. "IDWB" is number 10 on the radio and records chart this week. He was on tour with Maroon 5 (one of the best bands in America right now) and now his career is beginning to sky rocket. Pick up his CD entitled "Chariot".

Some quick picks are:

Ryan Cabrera - "True" : One of the most simple sweetest songs I have heard in a long time.
Lindsay Lohan - "Rumors" : I've heard this song for probably 2 months and it still isn't old and is slowly climbing the charts still.
Gwen Stefani - "What You Waiting For" : An awesome song and an awesome video. She will never die.
Tyler Hilton - "When It Come" : I hear this is supposed to be a good up and coming song.

Its time for the turkey, the cranberries and the stuffing,
We'll eat like the King of Pigs, Our bellies a-puffing,
Now clean your plate like momma said, and do not give her lip,
All that gravy on your plate will make a splendid dip. (for rolls)

Hee Yah, it's Thanksgiving, Circle round the old oak tree,
Hee Yah, Give thanks to God, For He provides for you and me.

Little towns and cities big celebrate this day of thanks,
Every place closes down, post offices and banks,
Now bow your head and close your eyes, and say a bit of grace.
We all have things to be thankful for, no matter what sex or race.

Hee Ya, it's Thanksgiving, Give the old Gobbler a wack,
Hee Ya, Give thanks to God, For he's the One who's got our back.

There are flowers sitting on my desk that smell like a funeral home.

Today I walked into DST Innovis where I was started my new temp job. It's secretarial, rather minimal and not very stressful. Easy enough, right? Right. The girl who welcomed me at the desk was of African American descent, and I love black girls, and introduced herself. Now out of all names in the pool of life...her parents picked this, Tequila. TEQUILA! It's the hispanic equivalent of naming your song Jose Cuervos for Pete's Sake. I feel like she should be able to pull a lime out of her cleavage or something. Though the oddness of name she was very sweet and taught me "the ropes" of the receptioning position.

I should be here for about a week and a half, thus I will be online at all times because I seriously only have about an hour's worth of work here anyway. Write me!

Finally the flies are gone from my apartment. After feeling like I had been hit by one of the Plagues of Moses' day, I successfully used a bug bomb to blast those bastardish boogers. I knew it was time to take action once I had leisurely made a cup of hot cocoa, took a sip...now thinking I had one of those little un-dissolved chocolate clumps in my mouth...I begin to pick it out of my mouth with my fingers. I was wrong...It was a FLY! It was in my mouth...It was a FLY! I'd sucked on it...It was a FLY!

Feeling rather faint at that time and also feeling a sense of panic and freak-out-ness, I threw it to the ground. I now knew what had to be done. They must be destroyed...not just those, but every bug...every bug in the world. Thus if you have a pet fly, or friends and family who resemble a insect of any kind...I suggest you tell them to look out. For I, Jas-terminator......ok enough of that riculousness.

Life is a crazy unexplainable series of events. One after the other the, what seems to be, inevitable occurs in our life. Some, like me, believe that God is in control...others see it as coincidence. I choose to believe that everything happens for a specific reason whether good or bad. We make the choices in our day to day living, and though it seems we are in control of it all, there is something that trully is guiding us through our perfections and imperfections. Just looking back on my entire life: Raised in a Christian family, going through some close minded schools and churches, choices I made through my teenage years, heading to college, jobs, performing, deciding to quit school...all of this. Taken one by one it can seem like a good or bad situation, but now I look back and know that this series of events was meant to happen to bring me to where I am right now. Being happy, being satisfied, being self-reliant and independent...the things that I was so insecure about before have turned to security and steadfastness.

What I say all this for is to encourage you to take each moment as a opportunity to take you to a new place in your life. Don't look back regrettfully but with a positive look to see how even the most down times you've had have brought you to where you are now. Be happy in your life, Ground yourself in your own individual faith or whatever you rely on.

These top ten things are not unattainable...they are simply some things I challenge you to do.

10) Stare at your eyebrows for 60 seconds. If they appear very strange looking after a while then you have passed this challenge.
9) Watch five episodes of South Park in the same night. If you speak like Cartman in ONE instance in the next week by accident, then you pass this challenge.
8) Attempt to try and notice at least 3 people walking dogs. If they resemble their dogs in any way...nice.
7) Try and think of 4 different instances in which you were so mad you literally screamed. If you can do this, then you might wanna check into some Anger Management classes, but HEY you passed this challenge.
6) Sing the Direct Insurance Theme song. Complete this, and you're officially a dork, but pretty cool in my book.
5) Think of your favorite show on television. Imagine every person on that show naked. fun, huh?
4) Now stop me if you've heard this one...there's a man, woman, and a freak of nature... if any of these three things resemble you, CONGRATS, you pass.
3) Fake trip up the stairs. Or if you're Ashlyn just laugh when you do it for real.
2) Go to a gas station... they have more than 3 types of beef jerky. FACT.
1) Confuse yourself into thinking that Judge Judy is your mother and....

TADA!!! You've completed these useless every day challenges. Now that you have accomplished them, try everyday to come up with your own, they just make life more interesting.

I've come to make a clear realization of this crazy thing we call life, and that realization is...that it can really suck but it can be wonderfully majestic. Can I get a witness of some sort, please? No I am not being a Negative Nancy or a Pull-Down-The-Mood Polly. Well, I mean, the good times and the bad sort of weigh out. Sometimes I am going about my own business and feel as though I am living out the song "Ironic" by Alanis, which (for those of you who don't know) does not personify ironicity at all. Ironicity is probably not even a word. What's that?..you don't know the song...well...some of the lyrics go like..."Traffic Jam when you're already late...A No Smoking sign on your cigarette break... it's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife...it's like meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife". Now that you have an understanding, perhaps you see what I am meaning. It's like right when you think that you have really got a hold of something really wonderful, new, and exciting...it's goes away ever so quickly. It's a fleeting joy, but what a joy it is.

Perhaps the moral of this entry would be, enjoy the happiness you have, while you have it...it may slip through your fingers..OR it may Come back to haunt and torture you for the rest of your life. Choose wisely what happiness to relish in, and which to say, "no thanks" to.

-Jase

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Here are a couple updates to keep you provided with on the edge info about my everyday life:

Sunday I quit my job at Carowinds. Tony, the incompetent jerk, decided that shows weren't about quality anymore but that it was simply so something could be thrown onstage. I refuse to work for anywhere that says that. Ryan, Michael, Julie, and I shared this opinion. They are now down 2 shows...attempting to rehearse an all girl country show, and creating a Beach Party Karaoke.

Tuesday I heard from the Children's Theatre of Charlotte. I got the lead role of "Prince Brat" in "Prince Brat and the Whipping Boy" a children's musical that opens in October. I start next Tuesday. Very excited.

Psycho Beach Party open September 9th at Bare Bones Theater Group. Ryan auditioned and has a nice role, I didn't audition so I just dance and am in a couple scenes. Half of acting is REacting anyways, right? Please come out and see this. Except for anyone in my immediate family..that's means you..Dad, Mom, Ash, Ant, or anyone else. Sorry.

I've been trying to tan for psycho beach party. Thanks to my mom for my pale white skin...my butt's gotten burnt like 3 times. WAH!